Album Review: Lou Reed and Metallica - Lulu

Some musical collaborations are truly inspired (the Okkervil River and Roky Erickson album comes to mind) while others are more puzzling than anything else. Welcome to the world of Lulu, an album written by Lou Reed and performed by himself and Metallica. This album is big on ambition but no amount of good intentions can rescue it from the “puzzling” pile. The whole affair sounded like such a good idea on paper. Stalwarts Metallica get to pay deference to one of their secret idols and Lou Reed gets a chance at a little mainstream acceptance he hasn’t felt since “Take A Walk On The Wild Side”. Having listened to Lulu I can say that only one party got their wish. Hint: their name isn’t Lou Reed.

A warning to all Metallica fans: this album may not be for you. If you like it then I meant no disrespect but I don’t think that the band made Lulu with their existing fanbase in mind. Ulrich, Hetfield, et al are here to show their support for and admiration of avant-garde hero Lou Reed. That is, they play the role of dutiful backing band to one of music’s most colourful old coots. There are some points where Metallica really get to sound like themselves. There is a short patch on “The View” when the sluggish riffs sharpen up that sounds like it was culled straight from one of their 90s records. They even get sneak some classic thrash in “Mistress Dread”, a song that delivers none of what the title promises.

 “Pumping Blood” is an apt demonstration of the bizarre lyrics that are strewn all through the album. “If I'm pumping blood like a common state worker / If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute would you think less of me?” asks Reed with no trace of irony. Further on we get the lyrical gem of, ”I swallow your sharpest cutter like a colored man's dick”. When I hear lines like this word’s fail me, as they apparently did Reed. Repeatedly in fact. These serve only to alienate the listener and distance them from wanting to read into the story behind the songs. The double album (yikes) ends with “Junior Dad”, a 19 minute marathon of sheer aimlessness. Whoever it is that is playing the faint guitar line sounds as if they have actually been put to sleep by the whole ordeal.

Reed and his voice are in shaky form. His weathered croon is positively craggy with age and neglect to the point where he can barely keep up the music. Lou Reed has always been known more for being a song writer than a powerful vocalist but you would have to struggle to acknowledge him as either here. Lulu is destined to be a curiosity of music history. Both parties involved took a gamble on the end product and, at least in my opinion, that gamble did not pay off. Does this mean that they should be tarred, feathered, and publically shamed for even trying this? Of course not. It is through trying something new that artists, both young and established, learn and grow. The real trick to this is knowing when your experiment has failed abysmally and not making the same mistake again. I just hope that all involved see this as the learning experience that it was and move on.

Rating: D

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